


In Which PDA Makes it Hard for Constanze to Do Machines

by FoxOnPie



Series: An Assortment of Adorable Affections [3]
Category: Little Witch Academia
Genre: Dianakko Week, F/F, One Shot Collection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2019-01-04 09:06:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12165828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoxOnPie/pseuds/FoxOnPie
Summary: Constanze, the diminutive inventor who puts logic above emotions, spends the day with two girls in the midst of a blossoming romance. What could possibly go wrong?





	In Which PDA Makes it Hard for Constanze to Do Machines

Many people assumed that Constanze, with her obsession with robotics and tendency to speak two words a year, didn’t have an easy time dealing with people and made very little effort to do something about it. It’d be easy to say that those people were wrong to assume something like that, but as Constanze, herself, would attest to, they were pretty much on the money. From a young age, Constanze never gave much thought to the “necessity” of social interaction. So long as she had food, robots, and a decent education, what else did she need in life? Nothing, that’s what.

 

This was the mindset that Constanze had when she first went into Luna Nova. Now in her second year, it was still present, but in a notably smaller degree. While she didn’t have a large group of people she went out of her way to associate with, the ones she did spend time with were certainly close enough for her to call them friends. The closest, naturally, were her roommates, Amanda and Jasminka, always there to lighten the mood with hot-blooded commentary and cold-blooded snacks. The three of them sometimes got into more trouble than Constanze would’ve liked, but at least they kept things interesting.

 

Someone who, surprisingly, rivaled the two of them combined in regards to intrigue was most certainly one Atsuko “Akko” Kagari. The girl was brash, lazy, self-centered, obnoxious, and an overall idiot, essentially everything Constanze looked to avoid when dealing with people. For most of her freshman year, little happened to make Constanze change this opinion. However, when Akko forced her way into being Constanze’s assistant for the Wild Hunt, Constanze came to understand that, in addition to all of the negative qualities Akko had, she was also a resourceful person who put her all into everything she did and never gave up on something she got herself involved with, especially people’s lives. Qualities that Constanze, herself, had within her. The bond that formed between them was a strange one, but not at all unwelcome.

 

That bond was what brought Constanze to her current interaction with Akko. In a matter of weeks, the Wild Hunt would begin anew, and Constanze, wanting Akko’s assistance, reached out to her for a repeat of their previous partnership. Akko could do things Constanze couldn’t, and if she had any ideas like the Grand Charion, she’d certainly be a tremendous asset.

 

“Constanze! It’s me! Open up!” Speak of the devil. It appeared that Akko had arrived, so Constanze got up from her bed and opened the door for her.

 

“Mrmm?” Any semblance of a smile that might have been on her face turned into a neutral expression when she saw that Akko wasn’t alone.

 

“Good evening, Constanze.” The other person was none other than Diana Cavendish. Straight A student, daughter of one of the oldest families in the magical community, admittedly very attractive. Constanze didn’t have many interactions with Diana, mainly because Amanda couldn’t stand her, but the two have hung out more in the past several months thanks to Akko entering a relationship with her. Not a great deal, though, and Constanze certainly hadn’t told Akko to bring her along.

 

“So, Constanze! I know that I sort of, kind of, technically didn’t ask if Diana could come along, but now that I already went to the trouble of bringing her here, can she come with us?”

 

“Mrmm…” Constanze mumbled.

 

“Did she say yes, Akko?” Diana asked.

 

“No, no she did not,” Akko said. “Please, Constanze! I know I’m being selfish and just want to spend more time with my new girlfriend, but think about it! If someone as dumb as me was able to give you tons of help, a super genius like Diana would give you, like, metric tons of help, and if you don’t think so, then she’ll just sit in the corner and not say or touch anything, so pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?!”

 

“...Mrmmm,” Constanze mumbled.

 

“She said yes, Diana!” Akko shouted, bringing her girlfriend in for a hug.

 

“Mrmm!”

 

“Akko, I might not be able to understand her that well, but I think it’s pretty clear that she’s annoyed,” Diana said.

 

“R-Right. Well, then, to the secret lab!” Akko ended the hug and interlocked her hand with Diana’s to bring her to Constanze’s bed.

 

“Mrmm,” Constanze mumbled.

 

“Actually, I think Diana should pull the lever,” Akko said, Diana giving a hesitant “OK” afterwards. Following this, Akko stepped behind Diana and put her arms around her waist.

 

“A-Akko!” Diana stammered.

 

“Just trying to make sure you do it right,” Akko said, slowly guiding her arms up to Diana’s arms. “We just grab at the bedpost together and pull, niiice and easy.”

 

“Mrmm! Mmm-” Constanze’s mumbles were ignored by the two as Diana pulled the bedpost on the bottom left. As opposed to the one on the top left that would have opened the tunnel to the lab, this one opened a much smaller trap door that only Constanze fell through.

 

“Was that supposed to happen?” Diana asked as she heard a splash of water.

 

Thirty seconds later, Constanze re-entered the room with a slam of the door, water dripping off of her uniform, and what appeared to be an alligator biting her butt.

 

“To be fair, Constanze, to be fair… why do you even have that lever?” Akko asked.

* * *

“You know, Diana, there’s something about seeing a rich girl do manual labor that’s just really,  _ really  _ attractive,” Akko said as she watched Diana carry a box of parts.

 

“Oh, really? Why’s that?” Diana asked with a smirk.

 

“Don’t know, really. Maybe it’s just the thought of someone who’s never had to lift a finger before getting all hot and sweaty for the first time. Their pristine bodies glistening with the glow of hard work for the first time.”

 

“So now I glow?”

 

“Only a little more than usual,” Akko said, stepping behind Diana and kissing her on the cheek. Diana turned her head and returned the kiss, not noticing that the box was slipping out of her fingers.

 

“Mmmmm!” Constanze mumbled from her desk, catching their attention mere seconds before Diana lost the box.

 

“Sorry, sorry!” Akko said, helping Diana pull up the box and put it down next to the sketch Constanze was working on, still using the close proximity to kiss her.

 

Constanze had now decided that out of all forms of social interaction, romantic ones were her least favorite. If dealing with people was distracting on its own, then dealing with people you wanted to suck the face of was even more so.

 

“Mmmm,” Constanze mumbled at Akko.

 

“Blowtorch, got it!” Akko said, rifling through the box until she pulled out a blowtorch. “Oh, Diana, Constanze wants you to get a gigavolt battery from the shelf over there.”

 

“Understood,” Diana said, walking over to the nearby shelf before stopping at it with a puzzled look.

 

“Mrrm,” Constanze mumbled at Akko.

 

“Diana, Constanze says it’s the big one on the right up top,” Akko said. 

 

“Thank you,” Diana said, climbing a ladder up to the battery she now knew the location of.

 

“Look at you, grabbing batteries and junk. You’re so adorable.”

 

“Stop it, please,” Diana said with a blush.

 

“Oh, you know you love it when I sweet talk my big sweetie.” 

 

“Mmmm! Mmmmm!” 

 

“Yeah, she really is the fire of my soul, isn’t she? Diana, Constanze agrees that you’re the fire of my soul!”

 

“That’s very sweet of her!” Diana called out from atop the ladder.

 

“I know, right?!”

 

“MMMMMM! MMMMMM!” Constanze started tugging on Akko’s sleeve.

 

“What? What’s the ma-OH MY GOD, FIRE!” What had apparently happened was that, in the midst of her flirting, Akko had accidentally pulled the trigger on the blowtorch, setting Constanze’s drawing ablaze.

 

“What?!” Diana shouted, jumping off of the ladder with the battery under her armpit.

 

“FIRE! FIRE! FIRE! FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!” A legion of Stanbots appeared with tiny buckets of water, each one throwing the contents onto the paper.

 

“I’ll fix this!” Diana shouted, pulling out her wand. “Scrylla Yera Retoure!” In an instant, time froze around Constanze’s desk, the destruction coming to a complete halt. Then, as if someone hit the rewind button on reality, the entire scene played out in reverse until the drawing was as it was before.

 

“Yay! Nice one, Diana!” Akko said with a smile. “Isn’t she just the best, Con-” Akko quickly shut herself up when she saw the livid glare Constanze was giving her and Diana.

 

“Mmmmm! Mrmrmrmm, mrrrrrmmmrm, mmmmm! Mmrmrmrm…” Suddenly ceasing her string of mumbles, Constanze walked over to Diana, pulled the battery she got out of her arms and shoved it in her face.

 

“Um… Oh, I see. This is a  _ mega _ volt battery, not a gigavolt,” Diana said.

 

“Mrmmmmmm!”

 

“Diana, I don’t think you need a translation to know that we should leave, right now!” Akko shouted, grabbing Diana’s hand and pulling her to the elevator as Constanze aimed a bazooka at the couple.   


* * *

For the rest of the day, Constanze neither saw nor heard anything from Akko and Diana, and as far as she was concerned, it was a situation she could live with. Amanda might actually have been onto something with her constant hatred of Diana, and Akko seemed to be a less complex individual than she thought. They certainly weren’t the kind of people Constanze needed to associate with.

 

“Constanze, are you in there?” Speak of the devil. Diana, for whatever reason, was knocking on her door.

 

“Mrmmm!” Constanze mumbled at the door.

 

“I know you’re mad at Akko and I, but I just want to talk to you.”

 

“Mrmrmrmrmmm!”   


 

“Well, if I’m truly unable to understand you, how have I been talking to you, this whole time?”

 

“Mmm?” Constanze’s eyes widened at the sudden realization: Diana was, indeed, responding to everything she was saying.

 

“Yes, it’s true, but please don’t test me, as I’m still getting the hang of this. Just please open the door, Constanze.” 

 

“...Mmmm.” Most likely against her better judgement, Constanze got up from her bed and opened the door to her room. Standing in the doorway was not only Diana, but Akko, the latter having tears and snot running down her face.

 

“I’m so sorry, Constanze!” Akko said through her tears. “I’m sorry I forced you to let Diana come and then made an alligator bite you on the butt and then got a box of your stuff broken and then almost set your lab on fire! It’s just that Diana’s really cute and sexy and I got distracted because I want to kiss her a lot, and I didn’t pay attention to you because that was all I was thinking about-”

 

“Akko, please,” Diana interjected, handing Akko a handkerchief. “Clean yourself and let me talk.”

 

“Okay…” Akko took the handkerchief and started wiping her face as Diana turned back to Constanze.

 

“Like Akko was trying to say, the two of us are still in what’s commonly referred to as the ‘honeymoon phase,’ so we just allowed ourselves to focus solely on our new relationship with no regard to what was happening around us. Obviously, this doesn’t excuse our behavior, and neither Akko nor myself expect you to forgive us, immediately, but we hope that you will do so and eventually have us help you, again. I know that Akko really wants to work with you on another one of those robot things, and as for me, well, I’d really just like to get to know you, better, if that’s alright.”

 

“...” Constanze’s face fell to the floor as she kicked the air a bit and shoved her hands in her pockets. “...It’s alright.”

 

“YAY!” Akko shouted, hugging Constanze with a newly clean face.

 

“My sentiments, exactly,” Diana said with a smile.

 

“...Mrmrmrm,” Constanze mumbled.

 

“Really?! You want us in the lab, right now?! Let’s go, Diana!” Akko shouted, grabbing Diana’s hand and pulling her onto Diana’s bed. “You coming, Constanze?”

 

“Mmm.” Constanze closed the door and walked back over to her bed, stopping at her bedpost.

 

The bedpost on the bottom left. 

 

“Constanze, wait, that’s the wrong-” It was too late. Constanze, a wicked smile on her face, pulled the lever, sending the two girls falling through a trapdoor that ended in a big splash.

 

One minute later, Akko and Diana reappeared with a slam of the door, their clothes dripping wet and alligators biting their butts.

 

““Why do you even have that lever?!”” Constanze just smiled at the both of them.


End file.
